David's Story
Jackie Dutton used to be an active woman and if you had asked her where she saw herself in years to come her answer would have been one of optimism. She couldn’t have planned for the diagnosis she received in 1989 and neither could her husband David, 53, now her full time carer.
Jackie, 49, has lived with Chronic ME, also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, for 20 years. She suffers from overwhelming and persistent fatigue, has disturbed sleep, struggles remembering things and is unsteady on her feet and has frequent dizzy spells causing falls. Triggered by the ME, she also lives with acute irritable bowel syndrome, acute agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), heightened anxiety and depression. The agoraphobia makes hospital appointments unbearable and distressing for Jackie and more often than not, brings on a panic attack. Jackie very rarely goes out except for medical appointments and then has to be accompanied at all times.
The couple live in Leigh-on-Sea in Essex and have had dramatic changes to both of their lives. David is not only a carer for his wife but he also has to live and deal with the after affects of the Chemotherapy he had 10 years ago. Still in remission from Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, David suffers from high pain levels and joint dysfunction causing mobility problems, has lost surface feeling on his skin and his taste has been affected. These pose considerable difficulties in his caring role especially when going out considering Jackie’s problems and cooking meals as she has to have a special diet and can’t eat spicy foods.
David heard about the Caring with Confidence sessions through a local carers group in Essex. David said: “It is great to meet like minded people, some of whom have become friends.
“I have learnt some new tips about how to communicate with professionals and was given a really useful leaflet about Carers Assessments. If it wasn’t for Caring with Confidence I would not have had this knowledge passed on to me and this information is something I would have found helpful before my care assessment earlier this year!”
Since taking part in the Caring with Confidence sessions David has made a new group of friends who meet every Friday for lunch, giving themselves all a bit of time away from their caring role. They do still share their caring stories and give each other advice as well as talk about other interests and simply enjoy each other’s company.