Mary & Bernard's story
Mary, a retired special education teacher and her husband Bernard live with their son David, 41 who has cerebral palsy. David is also registered blind and has a range of learning difficulties due to his condition.
Mary said: “David uses a wheelchair and has no independent mobility. We use a hoist to help move him between his chair and his bed and his cerebral palsy means his limbs can get very stiff so we help him during mealtimes and I’m up two or three times in the night to unlock his legs.”
Although Mary is an experienced carer, she admits that it can sometimes become quite overwhelming and has been surprised that she has taken so much from attending Caring with Confidence sessions run through the Bolton branch of Crossroads Care.
“We love David very much but caring can create negative feelings and I sometimes feel very guilty about our situation” added Mary. “The Caring with Confidence programme has given me some great ways of coping with stress – they’re only simple exercises but really useful. It’s also made me stop feeling so guilty and I now understand how to convert negative feelings and emotions into positive ones.”
Not only has Mary taken away new skills, she’s taken a great deal from the companionship of the other carers who have attended the programme. Mary said: “Hearing other people’s experiences of caring has really helped me. We’ve all really enjoyed the sessions and there has been a lot of laughter alongside the more serious side of what we’re doing. It’s been a fantastic release for me.”